Hopefully now, the saga about Honey may come to an end.
Note: This is a big post. Hit “Read the rest of this entry” to see it all.
Mike has recreated Honey’s blog. If you go here, you can read Mike’s introduction, and all the rest of the words belong to Honey. At first I thought Mike’s tribute was a mistake. Now I don’t. I think he has done the right thing.
For those who don’t know the story, this is as much as I know.
Honey wrote a post that would appear after she died. She wanted it to be a farewell, because she doubted anyone would tell her legion of readers what had happened, and she didn’t just want to vanish and leave people wondering. She wanted her final message to convey hope, not despair. Personally, I think the post she left us with was the greatest she ever wrote, and I’d encourage you all to read it. She also had asked me to do some things after she died. I was to send some letters to some people – letters she wrote and sent me last summer. I was to read a letter she’d written to me. And I was to post her song to the web.
Honey had a cousin in South Africa, Piet. He was involved in the music scene over there, and had gathered some friends to record a song for her. I know no Zulu, so I cannot tell you what the words are. But the title is something like “Honey Ee Banaa” which I was told means something like “Honey is strong” (anyone who can clarify that is more than welcome to correct me). But she asked me to put the song out there after she’d gone. I told her I’d do it as a tribute to her.
About three weeks after Honey died, I noticed someone was using her email accounts, accessing my blog from her computer, sending invitations to her friends to join websites as her friend, and using her MSN account. So I wrote my post “The Dead Eyes Opened“. For that, I received some very vitriolic emails from someone who was using her laptop who told me they were perfectly entitled to use Honey’s accounts etc to deceive people into thinking they were her. I chose to ignore their hostile (yet appallingly written) emails.
Three months after Honey died, someone “updated” her blog. Their post announced they’d hacked her passwords so they could access her blog, her email, her everything. The hacker then went on to give a rundown on how Honey’s son’s football team had performed in the football season.
Some of Honey’s readers – for her blog still got considerably high volume of traffic, even three months after her death – left some comments to The Hacker’s post, questioning the wisdom of their actions. The Hacker chose to hurl abuse at DryEyedCrab & Byron for daring to question their behaviour. At that stage, I decided they needed telling off. So I did. So I wrote:
Anon (yes, you’re such a class act coming here and skiting how you hacked her account),
This blog ended the way Hun wanted it to. But of course, you know better than her what her wishes were, and so came here for what? To tell everyone how clever you are?
Byron’s right in saying you should identify yourself, because in coming here as the author, rather than a commenter, you are saying to the world you are Huniii, which is clearly not the case.
You lost a friend? Boo hoo. So did many of us. But we don’t come here assuming a superiority over others and telling people off when what they are saying is to respect her wishes.
Hun wrote what she did as her farewell message a long time before she died, and this ended as she wanted. For you to come here and essentially decide that your opinions and words are more important than hers is quite insulting to her, but she always said she didn’t trust her closest friends would behave appropriately when she wasn’t around.
I may be a lot of things, but subtle I’m not. One thing that pisses me right off is people who behave abominably, then get all self-righteous when anyone questions their behaviour. Mike suggested The Hacker’s post be trimmed to remove offensive parts, and obviously The Hacker followed his advice. The Hacker made no further comment. But they saw another commenter say this:
Ok Ok, I had to post a comment on here, I have reason to beleive Hunni is not dead, I have atually had contact with her in the recent weeks i have a feeling every poor bugger on this blog has been fooled and led to beleive a massive and whopping lie. Yep like you all i was fooled too.
I beleive the person blogging on behalf of hunni is actually HER, I have now put hunni in the past and feel cheated and lied to, Hunni you know who i am, I cant beleive you could be so dishonest to me and all these people that love you sooo much.
But now in my eyes i have put Hunni to rest even though she is alive and well.
The Hacker’s next action was to delete Honey’s blog.
Personally, I think the last comment, that triggered the deletion of her blog, was wrong. I believe Honey was honest. She really was sick, and she really died. I think her “friends” who have hacked her site, and used her online identity in a range of areas are low-lives. And I now thank Mike for putting up the original of her blog.
I knew Honey for about two years. We met online, and became real-world friends. Her loss deeply affected me, especially since she died of the same thing my father did three years ago. From Honey, I re-learnt what true friendship is about. She and I both had strengths which attracted us to each other. But we also both had flaws. Big gaping flaws. What she taught me is that we could love each other despite the flaws. I’d un-learnt that is possible. It was lovely to find someone who loved her friends the way I do.
If you do nothing else today, listen to her song. I hear it over and over when I think of her.