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romansoldier02.jpgI moved to WordPress for two reasons.
The first was that I wanted a fresh start. I was setting out on a new journey, and starting anew was a symbolic way of highlighting that change. My previous blog (The Lost Legionary) was based on the persona of a Roman legionary who was lost and had found himself in a place where he was so different to those around him that he was like the literary Yankee in Arthur’s Court. In returning home though, I was coming back to a world where I knew people, where I had long-established friendships and I was coming back with a plan, a sense of purpose. Hence why I named this new blog what I did.

The other reason I moved from Blogger to WordPress though was to lose some readers.
I’ve made no secret of the fact that some people who read my blog do it for the wrong reasons. And when I moved, I hoped they’d lose interest and go away. But of course, when I installed a proper stat-tracker, I found they hadn’t gone away. So I addressed the issue, at the same time I spent a bit of time with some people who were “collateral damage” in the dispute from Autumn 2006. The result? I now know that some undesirable people read my blog. But I no longer care. By writing what I did, I exorcised the demons. I could tell my readers what I thought, and release it. And it released the negativity for me as well. In a much stronger way than I thought was possible.

I was thinking about that this week. Thinking about how many writers in blog-land have packed up and vanished. Either for short siestas or have disappeared entirely. Some I still miss. And so often, the reason behind their departure is inappropriate or immature behaviour on the part of others, especially those who do not understand the nature of blog-land. I know that the solution I reached – unload your thoughts, and then ignore the poison – wont work for everyone because situations and people are different. So I’m throwing it open to everyone who reads here. With some simple questions.

  • Do you have readers who you wish you didn’t?
  • If you do, or if you did, what strategies would you put in place to deal with it?
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10 Comments

  1. Yes, I have some very poisonous, vicious people who read me for the sheer pleasure of bashing me on their own blogs. Sometimes it really gets to me, and I’ll have a crack at them too, but mostly I try and ignore them. Ms Fits is an expert on dealing with fuckwtis, and she never fails to earn my respect for the way she just carries on, not letting their barbs or slander get to her.

    I’ve thought seriously about shutting down my blog twice, but not because of other bloggers, more so because of people who know me offline. It can be a bit disconcerting knowing that people who know you very well, are trawling through your archives. It’s a bit offputting and the main reason why I don’t write anything too personal on my blog anymore.

  2. yes I do. and yes I have. I moved somewhere they couldn’t find me and toned back detailing on certain subjects. It infuriates me.

    http://lifeonplanetme.blogspot.com/2007/07/why-dont-you-just.html
    http://lifeonplanetme.blogspot.com/2007/08/censored.html

    for example

  3. First thing is first. Thanks for letting me know about this post and giving me the chance to give my two cents worth.

    I explained to you when we crossed paths recently some of the reasons I quit my blog. I have quite a few reasons.

    First of all I had simply lost the motivation to do it. When I left my previous job involving shift work I had a massive shift in life. I found that I had taken a turn for for the better and in some cases for the worse. I had some less interesting stories to tell from my experiences at work plus I had learned that one of my ex-bosses was reading my blog. If an ex-boss was reading what is to say that a current boss wasn’t reading.

    Secondly I was having my enemies reading my blog. They weren’t just reading about what I did but what I did with my mates who also hate these people. These are arseholes will use anything against you. This is the reason all of my old blogs are private.

    Thirdly I discovered Youtube and it took up some of my time which meant I was less interested in Blogs. This doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit about anyone else in Blog land but I just don’t have the time to be online all day.

  4. I know that two of my brothers and my brother’s gf read my blog.

    There was quite some time where I wish that they didn’t because they weighed a lot on my mind and I couldn’t talk about it – or I would and they’d read it and there would be war.

    It’s not so much of an issue now, but I’ll never forget it.

  5. i know my family doesn’t read my blog, some of my friends have, and i picked up a dickhead from another blogger that I know and read. He then blog stalked other blogs I linked too. One particular woman who knows my boyfriend and I, lives local to me, and is a nasty gossip. I also blocked people from reading my blog from work. If they find me in their own time, I don’t mind.

    i dealt with it, by hosting my blog on server space, and then using IP deny manager. that means that I can block undesireables from my blog, which I have done. I can’t go back to hosting on something like blogger where i have no control over who views my blog.

  6. To my stalker – your comment was deleted because you were off topic. This is not for discussion about your deluded version of reality. It’s about how other writers deal with unwanted readers, or the consequences of unwanted readers. In other words, it’s about how to deal with people like you, it’s not *about* you.

    For all the other readers of my blog – I deleted a comment here. Sorry.
    It was from my blog-stalker, trying to rehash the lies she’s been spreading for almost two years.

  7. *kicks blog-stalker………..hard*

  8. Hi Aurelius,

    Thanks for the heads-up about this post. It was pretty timely actually, as August is the one year anniversary of ceasing my blog, and I’ve been doing a bit of thinking about it lately.

    I stopped writing first and foremost because I decided to take a new direction in my life. The negative attention I was receiving was annoying me, but it wasn’t why I stopped – I had put up with a fair amount of crap over the 18 months that I wrote, and I was resilient enough to handle it and more. I certainly wasn’t going to let a bunch of immature idiots dictate what I could and couldn’t do. My detractors assumed they had won some sort of victory by “shutting me down”, but the reality was far different. I had simply moved beyond the period of life I was chronicling on my blog, and I no longer had a need to keep writing. My blog had served a particularly important purpose in seeing me through a period of intense change, emotion and discovery; but once I closed that chapter I felt no need to commence chronicling the new one.

    One year on, these are my observations:

    * I still miss writing. The only writing I do now is for work, and its not creative or cathartic. I miss the wordsmithing side of blogging. But I’m happy to do that in a private diary if I wish. I probably miss the time/opportunity to write more than anything. My life is way too busy now (which is a good thing). Would I swap my current life for the one a year ago, and the opportunity to keep blogging the way I was? No way.
    * Every now and then I miss the community aspect of blogging. When I stopped blogging I also stopped reading other people’s blogs. Every so often I wonder what so-and-so is up to, but its not a huge issue and not one which would make me come back online any more than the couple of times a month I do now.
    * I made the right choice to move on when I did. At the same time I stopped blogging I made all sorts of huge changes in my life – job, house, lifestyle etc. I’m exceptionally happy with the place I’m at now in all aspects of my life. And I’m enjoying my privacy. My blog served a purpose and I’m very grateful for all the wonderful things and friends it brought me. I’m also glad that I had the wisdom to know when to end it and move on.

    I might write again one day, but for now I’m enjoying my life so much that I feel I have no time or need to start jotting my journey down in words again. I’m happily done.

    Take care,

    Imelda

  9. I have had a stalker (pretty harsh description) turn good. Hard to explain without getting into specifics, but this person would mock me on most entries (and still does to a point), but when they are in a good mood they tend to have something decent to say, or even congratulatory/positive.

    Stalker is too much, a fan is too much, somewhere in the middle.

    My parents don’t know about my site, and I would rather they didn’t. It is rather ironic that I live part of my private life out in public, yet the people who know me the best are kept out. Friends can read to their heart’s content.

    I find when I want to write something not associated from my name, or main online identities, I invent a whole new persona and use it once. Not having things traced back to you can be incredibly helpful in saying what you want to say (When I get the chance I write short fiction under a pen name and don’t ask what name(s) :P).

  10. Hello, I’m a bit late to the comments here, but thank you for letting me know about this post.

    As you know, I had a stalker who was quite removed from reality, at a time when I really didn’t need it. I will admit that it was started by a very stupid, very drunken decision on my part, but then he just kind of ran with the whole thing and became mildly scary.
    I did shut down that blog, and that blog was indeed started because someone from my life read a blog previous to that. Both times I quit it was really unpleasant for me, once because I was treated badly by someone I thought of as a friend, and once because I was plain creeped out by my stalkers persistence.
    I now use my Livejournal, with privacy settings and various filters, because I’ve found I can express myself and still feel quite secure.

    A couple of weeks ago, I did find out that the vile ex (my rants about whom the first two blogs were almost entirely devoted to) still actively tries to seek me out online on a regular basis. This upset me when I was told, but now I just know it shows just how controlling he is, and how glad I am I don’t have a public blog anywhere any more.

    So, to answer, I don’t think I have anyone reading my blog I wouldn’t want to, and I don’t have any useful advice on what to do about it as I essentially ran away and hid.


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