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The truth is I don’t know when she died. Noone told me. Even though I was given a letter from her to send to her “boyfriend”, and he’d been given my number, and told to contact me, he didn’t. Instead, I found out the way she planned to be the ‘back-up’ way. For those who don’t know, in WordPress, a blogger can set a date on a post and the post doesn’t appear until that date. Huniii had written her final post before Easter, and told me she kept shifting it forward. Changing the date every few days so it didn’t appear prematurely.
Then DryEyedCrab emailed me on Friday the 25th and told me Huniii’s post was up. She and Caerulia both knew about Huniii’s plan for the coded blog entry. Even if you didn’t know Hun, it’s a beautiful post, and quite worth the read. Although I find it sounds better read aloud.

Anyway, I handled the news of my friend’s death the way I handle most bad news – I went into “submarine mode”. This basically means that I left work, and decided to be alone. I wanted time to think. And after a while, I decided that thinking wasn’t what I wanted to do, so I went and visited Alderney. But only for an hour or so. Then, I spent the weekend killing Gauls in Rome: Total War, and avoiding all human contact.

By the end of the weekend, I was fine. My brain had had time to adjust to the new reality of my universe, and I could resurface, and deal with the world as my relatively stable and normal self.

I didn’t realise until just yesterday that when I vanished that Friday, one of my email ping-pong friends, Olivia, was concerned about me. But Caerulia had explained that diving and lying dormant, just like a submarine, is my way, and I’d return to my friends when I was ready. That not to worry, he does this all the time. I guess it’s understandable, since she’s known me for about 16 or 17 years now.

While I’m here, I’ll ask a small favour of the small readership I have. I need to host a small sound file, to be accessible to other readers of my blog. So if anyone has the webspace to enable such a thing, can they please let me know? Email at Thanks peeps.



  1. I wasn’t as close to Huniii as some, but she did touch a place in my heart. I will miss her, and my heart goes out to those she left behind.

  2. NO way.

  3. will miss her too xx

  4. How awfully sad.


  5. I knew when I read that post, that her time had come. Special person that she was, touched all who even had a momentary connection

  6. Coyote Mike: She was special, huh? And not just in that ‘special bus to school every morning’ way.
    Steph: I’m sorry I was the one to let you know. And I thought your post was beautiful.
    Linda: We all do. We should just be glad we had her while we did.
    Brooke: It is sad. She was only 27. And deserved so much more. That’s why my post on the day said what it did – the love we take, is equal to the love, we make.
    Lori: I’m surprised more people didn’t realise what it meant at the time. I guess it’s slowly dawned on people. She knew it would, and planned it that way. Freaky, huh?

  7. Thing is, I keep checking her blog. I know there’s nothing to read further. It’s weird.

  8. Calling you to tell you about it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I didn’t know Hunii. I didn’t ever post on her blog, but I lurked at times. I’m sorry that DH didn’t do the right thing and let you know.

  9. Crab,
    I appreciated it. I really did.
    – Aurelius

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